Tuesday, 26 April 2011,4/26/2011 07:20:00 PM
begging.
im angry, im more then angry.im scared.im terrified. olevels is no joke, and thats ultimately the first thing stressing the hell out of me.
anyone who noes me, noes i dont deal well under pressure, and thats why i suppose only very few people noe me truly, and very few have accepted me the way i am, and stood by me while i yelled and screamed and cried and insulted. but course those people are jewels in my life.
and i thank my those amazing people.elysa, sai,ren,tach,mirel,mel.yall have seen me at my ultimate lowest.some of you have had me cry in your arms.some of you have protected me from hell itself.i pray to god,to never lose you.cus you guys sure as hell mean more then any boy or thing in the world.
i cant expect anyone new to pop into my life and be that way.
i guess i just expected some people to be different.but you know what everyones the SAME.
maybe this is gods way of playing me.maybe its bad karma. maybe this is punishing me for all the horrible things ive done. but why today.why make me so vulnerable and angry today.
when my first bloody hell effing exam is TOMORROW.
why make me FIGHT.why make me go against ppl.WHY WHY WHY.for once, can you NOT play me?FOR ONCE AGAIN IN MY LIFE, just make THINGS PERFECT AND HAPPY.
god must think its fun to bully me, and wierdly enough, i will STILL pray to god , beggin for help.
and some people.they think they are different.well i thought they were.i guess they werent.
from a very confused and emotionally blasted girl.
god, take the pain and anger i feel away.
