Friday, 6 May 2011,5/06/2011 04:56:00 PM
aloneness.
hey, so yea ICT practicals are over.
the big boys are here now.maths on monday.
anyways i decided to blog today, cus i felt that it might be thereapeutic for me..
so yea.ive been avoiding people.it feels wierd, cus im usually the type of person whos always tryin to be in sync with everyone.and whenever theres an off spot, i always try and fix it.but i guess i just figured wtv that needs to be done, maybe would be better done after olevels.
instead now, im tryin to channel all tht energy into working hard for olevels* which im not.i swear*
and also i just think, maybe this is the best time for me, to do some self-finding.and figuring out myself.without constantly depending on people.
i just feel, even god is tryin to show me tht theres more to life.
i mean even the few people i try to text...somehow the text keeps sayin their phone is off or something..
so its really like im really detached.
and i think most of yall know, im a very social person.i love being around people.just feeling connected...but right now...i dont...
which is scary...
and with this olevels,my stress levels have been out of control..which i think im expressing to people, which end up of course thm being frustrated at me..and me just being frustrated..
i dont know...i guess theres so many in this position...i just dont know wt to do..
ohwell.i dont care who reads this.this is me..tryin to get my words out.cus right now, im sortof of trapped in olevels.
but really.i have to thank my mum alot.shes been someone ive been leaning on a lot recently.i suppose shes the only one who can really just deal with my moodswings.
thank you ma,i love you.and im sorry i cant give you the best mothers day ever this year...i wish i could...but i just cant.
im so angry cus even during ur birthday ...mocks was the same time so we ddnt celebrate.
i just want you to know you mean everything to me.
especially now, whn i feel so.alone.
